The whole idea of networking in any type of group really boils down to moving your relationship through a pretty specific series of phases that you will have with the others in the group.

Although we are talking about networking, the truth is that this is how relationships work in all walks of like but we just happen to be in an environment where we are focusing on building them and concentrating on them.

The message today is to reassure the newer members of the group that being in BNI will work, but it takes time and effort in order for the benefits to surface and depending upon what your profession is, the amount of time may increase as the complexity and value of your business increases.


1.     Know me…

What am I all about?
What do I do?
Where do I do it?
What else did I do?
Who do I know?
Where am I from?
What kind of family do I have?

Obviously there are hundreds of questions you can ask to get a feeling for the kind of person this is, but you must get to know them first.

2.     Like me

Am I pleasant?
Am I respectful?
Do I show up when and where I said I would?
Do we have things in common?
Do they seem to have similar values?
Are you extreme and if you are, do you realize that those view may affect the way people view you?

Are you likeable, it seems like a pretty easy question, but make sure that you are friendly and approachable.

3. Trust me

Do people believe that I know what I am doing?
Have I demonstrated my knowledge to them or the group?
Do I have behaviors and habits that instill belief in me?
Have I problem solved for anyone?

Until you have moved through these three phases of relationship building with members of the group, you may feel like this BNI thing isn’t working, but have trust and faith in the system. Work to move your relationships with everyone through these three phases and then you will begin to see the fruits of your efforts.

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